How to help my child be more self-confident

Self-confidence has a lot to do with fear and anxiety. Show your child there is nothing he or she can do for you not to love them, or to love them a little less. Just show your child consistently: “I love you because I love you”. Letting them know that for a fact, will “unplug” the greatest source of anxiety in your child: “The fear of not to be loved by you”.

Most of us tend to forget it is “us” who set the foundations for our child’s self-confidence. The words you use to describe your children will be engraved in their self-esteem and your children’s behavior will adjust to match the words you use to describe them. This is because in our children’s subconscious minds MOM AND DAD ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. 

Love is not something we feel, it is something we do. Your children trust you and believe in you because you are the one supposed to love and accept them unconditionally. So, for these young minds, whatever you say is 100% truth. Even if your children challenges you verbally, what they think of themselves is defined by your own feelings and opinions about them. The way we talk to them, the way we look at them, how we play with them, what we think of them, it “all-combined” creates the image your children will have of themselves throughout their life. 

If your child is acting “needy”, “bossy”, or looks insecure, submissive, aggressive, perhaps shy, or “sad-mad”. If your child is having way too many tantrums and even if your child looks perfectly normal, just try using this rhyme. 

You’ll notice this rhyme does wonders for your child’s self-confidence if you walk-the-talk. Try saying it to your child, with a soft warm voice, when you are feeling your child’s behavior is falling “below-your-expectations”, or when you feel you are about “to-lose-it” during a tantrum before you say something you might regret later:  

I love you when you are happy

I love you when you are sad

I love you when you are cranky

I love you when you are mad

I love you the way you are

I am very proud of you
I need you to know that
You are the light in my life

I love you because I love you

There’s nothing you can do to change that

I love you because I love you

Forever. No matter what.

I love you with all my heart, even if you don't love me back

How does it work? This rhyme helps you remember you love your children so much, it really doesn’t matter if they are up to your expectations or not. In fact, your expectations are worthless. What really matters is what your children will expect and believe of themselves.